Mekonen on the Job!

One area of parenting I am working on is being more deliberate in training Mekonen in regards to chores and cleaning. Some of you are probably gasping thinking, "What! He is only 17 months old!" Haha. Yes, he is. And I don't mean Mekonen has a list of chores by any means. I am talking more about taking the time to start teaching him now about cleaning up his toys and helping Mommy and Daddy with whatever we're doing.

I naturally have the attitude of, "It's just easier for me to do it.  It would get done faster and better if I just did it myself." And actually, that is true. But the best time to establish lifelong habits is before age five. Yes, it takes longer to do things when I'm asking my 17 month old to "help" but I want him to understand very early, the value of his contribution. 

I no longer do the majority of household cleaning and such during Mekonen's naptime or bedtime. It's good for him to understand early that these things don't just "magically get accomplished" and that he's entitled to waking up to all his toys neatly in a row ready to be destroyed again.

Some of you are probably still gasping. But hear me out. I don't drag Mekonen around all day "doing chores." Very far from it. But when I am doing something that he can "help" with, I have been taking the time to teach him. For example, taking the time before his nap to show him how to help me pick up his toys. This can be painstaking sometimes because I can obviously do it much faster (and truthfully, the way I would rather it be done). When I change the sheets on the bed, he loves to drag them down the hallway towards the laundry room. And we are starting to work on Mekonen putting his dirty clothes in the hamper.

 “The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children" (Charlotte Mason).

Hopefully, this early training will also eliminate the initial complaining and grumbling when mom all of a sudden instills "the summer chore chart," or decides the kids are at an age where they can help and she starts handing out "chores." If it's always been a part of life then hopefully it won't be a problem.

Side comment on "summer chore charts." I'm not bashing these altogether, so if you do them, please don't be offended. But, they never made much sense to me. We are telling our kids that due to their normal "job" of going to school full-time during the year, they don't have time to help contribute to the family. This doesn't teach them anything because as adults, they will need to be able to successfully manage their families, jobs, household workings, church involvement, friends, etc. all at the same time.

Some might also disagree on this as well, but we don't intend to pay our children to help contribute to the running of the family. If they are doing extra "chores" or projects to earn money for something that is fine, but to pay our children to help clean up after themselves is not going to happen. :)

Here is Mekonen helping me and Grandma clean out the kitchen cupboards.

 He was very excited about this and thought it was so fun to hand us all the cans. What a cutie pie.

Our goal in all this is to train our children early to live a disciplined life. "The discipline learned in work translates into discipline in studies, and later, into discipline in life."

 “The habits of the child produce the character of the man . . . every day, every hour, the parents are either passively or actively forming those habits in their children upon which, more than upon anything else, future character and conduct depend” (Charlotte Mason).

Memorial Day Fun!

Memorial Day Weekend Fun!

 On Sunday we took Mekonen to the splash park for the first time. He had an absolute blast! He was so cute running around like he was a big kid. He was the smallest one there but that didn't stop him!

"Wow! What is this thing!"

He LOVED running through all the water and just kept giggling and giggling.

The water was pretty cold too.

Drink break #1

Trying to catch the water.

Daddy & Mekonen

Drink break #2

Grandma Magz & Mekonen

On Memorial Day we spent the afternoon and evening at our awesome friends Joe & Julie's. 

Lots of friends+lots of food+BIG pool= AWESOME day! 

They have this great little kiddie pool ledge thing. Mekonen was a little hesitant at first but then had a blast.

Daddy showing his moves off the hot tub ledge.

Mekonen and one his greatest girls, Courtney!

Mekonen's Summer Hair-Do!

Mekonen is now sportin' his summer hair-do! It's been in the 90's this week here in Indianapolis and Mekonen's little head was just soooo hot. So we decided to get out the clippers and give him a much cooler head for the summer.

I was sad to cut off his lovely curls but he does look so darn cute, and the long hair will be back in the fall! Before we cut if off we had a lot of fun combing it out to the max. Too bad his curls disappear when we do this. I really, really want him to sport the long, big curly locks.

Before

(all combed out) 

AFTER

(Doesn't he look like a little boy now and not a baby?!?!?!?)

PA Pictures Galore!

Fun in PA!

Mekonen and I had so much fun visiting family and friends in PA for a week and a half (although we missed Daddy a lot!) Mekonen got to meet new family and friends and hang out with old ones!

Grandma reading her favorite book "Mrs. Brown Went to Town" to Mekonen, Jane, and Natalie.

Mekonen and Jane found the best spot in the house. A seat with Grandpa Jack and a bag of Cheez-its!

Mekonen met Great Grandma Judy for the first time! She has loved praying for Mekonen and following our adoption process, and of course, now our family! :) I'm so glad she came down from Maine to visit when we were there. Isn't she adorable? You know how small I am, so now you now how small my Gram is! :)

Great Grandma Judy and 3 of her great grandbabies: Mekonen, Jane, and Natalie. (Sorry this is a fuzzy picture. You have no idea what it took to get this picture. About 15 out takes and LOTS of M&M's. This is as good as it was gonna get).

Mekonen meets Uncle Aaron!!! Woo-hoo!!! Clearly, Mekonen is DONE with this picture session. I am so glad my brother could come up to my parents to see us! What a blessing.

Visiting Grandma at her work. Mekonen showed up in his red sunglasses (which he kept on pretty much the whole time) and actually went around shaking people's hands. It was hilarious!

Mekonen LOVES his cousin Natalie. Whenever she came in the door, he would go over and give her a big hug. It was so adorable. She loved to play with him! Such sweetness. :)

Jane, upside down sunglasses, chillin' on the swing. I can't stop laughing at how funny this was. She was literally just swinging there, like that.

Mekonen saw it, thought it was cool, and wanted to try for himself. But he only got one arm up.

Natalie being cute.

Mekonen hanging with my two best friends: Georgia and Rach!

Me, Mekonen, Rachel & Georgia at Rachel's baby shower for her little boy due in July! And yes, Georgia and I are HOT. We totally wore the same outfit. Not planned. We are amazing and cute.

Mekonen and his friends Caroline, Abby, and Katherine! Loved spending time with this great family! Is it possible I had Caroline in 2nd grade and Abby in 1st and they are now both taller than me? That doesn't seem right! Is this when I say I feel old? Or maybe just short!

My awesome college roommate Courtney who we got to see on the way to PA and on the way back!

The leaves look like a heart! Hehe.

This is by far, my FAVORITE picture. We are literally losing it because Courtney had just asked Mekonen for a kiss. She puckered up and he put his whole mouth around her lips and bit them, both top and bottom at the same time. I almost fell off the bench.

Parenting Resource

I wanted to share a resource I used ALL the time in teaching and will TOTALLY be using with my children. It's called "Wise Words for Moms." It's pretty much a calendar size pamphlet of verses and heart probing questions about common sin issues with children. One book we've also really liked is "Instructing a Child's Heart" by Ted Trip. It talks A LOT about discipline WITH instruction...instruction that helps them to see the heart issue behind the outward behavior. It's not wise to just behavior modify and discipline without making lasting change by affecting the heart.

For example, at school, pushing in line to be first is all about selfishness. So if you just discipline the action and say, "Don't push" and give a consequence, you've taught nothing. You haven't dealt with the heart problem of selfishness and 10 minutes later the selfishness will manifest itself differently, such as grabbing a pencil or crayon from another classmate. So instead you discipline AND instruct about the deeper heart issue and teach your children to recognize them.

It took many months for my 1st and 2nd grade students to figure it out every year, but usually by December/January of the school year, when a child did something wrong and I would talk with them I would ask them what their sin was. At first, they used to say the action they did, such as "I pushed someone out of line." But once they started getting it they would instead say, "I was being selfish." They were learning to see and understand their need for a Savior, for Jesus. The conversation would follow talking about how we are all selfish at times and that Jesus came to save us from our selfishness, etc. Then you discipline for the selfishness, not the "pushing out of line."

It seems like if we just correct the behavior, our children would grow up in a Christian home and never truly understand how desperately they need Jesus to rescue them. They won't see their need for a Savior. They won't see that there is anything they need to be rescued from. This has been truly heart changing and taught me a lot about myself too and recognizing what sin is in my heart, not just outward behaviors I need to "control."

This pamphlet gave me all the questions to ask, the verses, the direction, etc. And it's super cheap! Only $4.00! Mekonen is still a little young for it, but I add in some "heart words" when instructing him such as, "Mekonen, you can't take her toy. That is being selfish." I know he doesn't understand that right now, but hopefully the seed is being planted. I am already starting to memorize them so that when he is older and other siblings come around I am well versed (because in the heat of the moment you tend to forget how to properly instruct, at least I did!). Here is an example of the pamphlet.

Selfishness
Heart Probing Questions to ask (asking these questions and having them answer so they are involved in probing their own heart)
1. Are you putting your brother/sister ahead of yourself or are you being selfish?
2. What would be a kind and generous thing to do?

Reproof ("put off")
1. Phil. 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself.
2. Prov. 3:27 Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.

Encouragement ("put on")
1. Rom. 12:10 Honor one another above yourself
2. 2 Cor. 9:7b God loves a cheerful giver

Additional Verses
Galatians 6:10
Phil. 2:4