Changes, Desperation, LOTS of Emotions

So that adoption roller coaster is going up and down some big hills this past week! As many of my AAI friends and I have stated in our group this week, discouragement, anxiousness, sadness, and a whole lot of love and desire have all been mixed into one big ball of emotions.

The situation in Ethiopia continues to be devastating. We were hearing through the adoption groups that there were tons of babies coming into the care of the orphanage our agency works with. Of course, this naturally made me very excited due to the fact that it probably meant our referral time would be shorter than anticipated. We received actual word from our agency this week that those facts are indeed true. There are more babies than ever in the orphanage and more seem to come in by the day. There are so many orphans that the conditions are crowded and babies are being moved elsewhere and there is a shortage of formula starting. The sitaution has come to the point that AAI is looking for volunteers to come as soon as possible to Ethiopia to help care for the babies. I SO wish I wasn't working right now and our situation allowed me to leave. I'd be on a plane to Ethiopia this week! In one sense, this means that our referral may come quicker than expected (originally expected in March or April), but unfortunately the Ethiopian court/legal process is still running its regular course. So in essence, it doesn't seem like that will make our overall time any shorter.

So that roller coaster ride? Deep sadness for the situation in Ethiopia...more babies means food shortage continues, birth mothers dying, and families split apart due to illness and death. Deep anxiety over the amount of babies needing love and care in the orphanage. Deep discouragement due to the referral process possibly speeding up, but yet the court process remaining the same. Deep sadness that our baby boy is probably amidst the overcrowding and missing our personal love and attention. Deep sorrow for two friends we've met whose babies have met Jesus while waiting for their families to be able to come get them. Deep love for a baby boy we have yet to lay eyes on and have yet to hold in our arms. Deep happiness and joy for the lifetime we get to spend with this precious boy. Deep excitment over the possibility of a referral quicker than expected! It almost feels "wrong" to be feeling these great things about our baby and family, when our joy will have been brought about by another's heartache. Wow. What a process. How do we even sort through these feelings?

Prayer is huge in our lives...and this week our list of requests has grown to be quite intense.
  • For the situation in Ethiopia- the food shortage, illness, death, lack of health care.
  • The birth mother and father of our precious baby boy. I CANNOT even imagine.
  • The spiritual condition of the birth parents- that God would bring someone to introduce them to Jesus, and that someday we will all be united together in Heaven.
  • The many, many babies in AAI's orphanage who are desperate for volunteers to come QUICKLY.
  • For the lack of supplies and formula due to the overcrowded conditions.
  • For God to sustain our baby boy and that he will grow and develop healthy as he waits for us to come get him.
  • For a quick referral
  • And ESPECIALLY for the court process to speed up. This is the KEY to getting all those babies to their forever families as quickly as possible.
We will continue to lift up our baby and our fellow adoptive families and pray that maybe God would prick your heart to travel to Ethiopia for two weeks and give some MUCH NEEDED and desperate care to these precious babies. They are looking for help, for whatever time frame you can give. Would you pray about God using you to take care of the orphan? I guarantee you will not regret allowing God to use you in this way!


Katie & Tim said...

very well posted. i feel the exact same way you do!! it definitely is a roller coaster! trust in God is so key at these times.

Amanda said...

wow, how hard that must be to just wait. I will pray for you and your little man...as well as the other babies and individuals in that situations right now. My heart goes out to you.

Farmboy and Buttercup said...

Well done post. It is such a mix of emotions. Our joy comes at someone else's excruciating pain.

Hey, I am responding to your comments on my blog.

We live in West Michigan.

About our agency change. Long story very short, we were with Gladney for first adoption, but with this one we were trying to get our little one into AHOPE. Due to some paperwork glitches, she is not able to move yet, so AAI can't work with us. So rather than just have her linger, we are again working with Gladney and keeping her in Gladney's care rather than AHOPE.

So rest assured, it was nothing against AAI.

Take care!

Kristen said...

My husband and I have JUST started the process and are trying to find other couples in Indy going through the process or who have already gotten their little ones. We're hoping to create a support network as well as develop friendships for both us and our baby on the way. I'd love to chat about your experience so far!

BrownEyedGirl-- said...

I pray for those same things for our little boy! The other thing I add in is prayer for the birth parents (esp. the Mom) to have a calmness about relinquishing him and hopefully "knowing" that he'll end up in a Christian family.