I have wanted Mekonen home in a different way this week. I can't describe it, but it's a new stage of longing, a new feeling of wanting desperately to have him here. Jesus has been so close to me this week...I feel so at peace despite this new, different, desperate need for my son. I am confident in his plan for seeing our son arrive home and I continue, steady on, trusting that there will be an end to the wait.... soon.
My sister Amy has been my biggest support throughout this adoption process (besides my Jonny of course). She understands the process completely. She is a mom to a son born in Guatemala and a biological daughter. She's done both and has felt it all. She sent me an encouraging message awhile back and it was so insightful. It really speaks to how I am feeling this week.
Adoption is totally different than pregnancy because you feel for this baby who is already here, that you cannot hold or comfort. The strain when your child is already there somewhere, is so different. It's a mom thing that is anxiety and trust in a way like you've never experienced. I am so thankful for that time of waiting because I feel like I understood far earlier that God is 'loaning' my kids to me from him and that he is in control, not me.What a great thought! I never thought of this waiting as depicting that very truth. God is loaning our children to us asking us to love them and raise them to know Jesus and go out and make a difference in our world.