9.12.2010

Goodbye Buffalo! Hello City!

Oh Wow. I have been the worst blogger ever! The month of August was extremely busy and overwhelming to say the least! I sure hope all my readers haven't decided to kick me off their reading list! But, I think it's safe to say, "We are back!!"

So the month of August was crazy and it finished up with a move for us! The decision to move, the packing, and moving in, all happened within just a few weeks, soooooo it was CRAZY! Our move here to Indy 2 years ago from PA, 11 hours away, was WAY easier than this move downtown. Probably because of a certain little someone who wasn't here during that first move! ;)
We moved about 35 minutes towards downtown Indianapolis. Previously we were outside the city on the north side. There were lots of factors going into this move, (it being MUCH closer to Jon's work and saving TONS on gas) but one of the top things being...

**Our desire to really and truly live in community with the poor- to live in community with the people whom we want to see come to know Jesus. We have been very convicted about living nicely in the quiet, safe "suburbs"while we go "visit" the city and the poor to do "ministry" (meaning charity type projects that don't involve relationship). This is where we were convicted. The command of the Bible is to "Go therefore and make disciples!" How did Jesus make His disciples? He spent time with them, poured his life into them. He did not visit them on occassion with food, clothing, and material help and then go back to his own comforts while leaving them desperate, in need, and without hope. You can't make disciples without relationship, and how can we have relationship without being there? Yes, all the ministries such as soup kitchens, clothing drives, etc., are good. But we have not been seeing them create active, on-going relationships where disciples of Jesus can be made. Something had to be done! So we got up and moved.

Our current prayer is for the people in the Mapleton Fall Creek Neighborhood where we now live. It's a rougher area of the city in which we have already encountered some very different things from our "country" life in the "suburbs." We are also LOVING the fact that there other kids with the same skin color as Mekonen at the park!!! :) We have already made some friends on our street and are getting to know the culture of where we live. Crazy how different things can be just 35 minutes away!
And on to Mekonen!! Part of my lack of blogging these days is the toll this transition has taken on Mekonen. It wasn't as bad as I know it could be, but it was still difficult for him. I try to be gracious when I express my concerns of disrupting Mekonen's "normal" when people respond with a flippant, "oh he'll be fine!" and a myriad of other things indicating that my concerns are overprotective, too sensitive, and the like. I love the support of my sister (also adoptive parent) and adoptive families who know I am not overreacting or going crazy. Due to the circumstances surrounding Mekonen's adoption, he will most likely experience some difficulty with most major transitions in his childhood, such as a move, starting school, or any other major events. I know this sounds crazy to many non-adoptive families and like my dear friend Julie has stated, we hear the phrase "but he was so young when you brought him home...he won't remember any of it...babies are so resilient." On the contrary, research shows that the earliest moments in life have the most lasting effects on the brain. If a child has a firm foundation as an infant, then later experiences transitions and trauma, he/she is less likely to have the lasting physiological effects as the child who experiences trauma early in life. Our babies aren't as resilient as science first thought. This is not to say that children who are adopted don't grow into content, well-adjusted children--the majority of them do." It's just important not to make adoptive parents seem like they are crazy when they express their child's struggles and are met with that "oh she's a young and overprotective first time mom."

Once we got moved into our house permanently, Mekonen has been doing phenomenal! He is such a trooper! I am amazed by his resilient spirit and his ability to trust that we will always care for him, and that we are not going anywhere.
Prior to our final move downtown, Mekonen spent a lot of time in our house full of boxes and back and forth to Grandma's for a couple weeks while we made trips back and forth to our new place. He didn't start really showing signs of fear, confusion, etc. until we packed up his bedroom and he was sleeping in there with just a pack n' play. (Note to us: next move, save Mekonen's room for last!) Once the house was pretty much packed and all his stuff was "gone" and there was no more "routine" the transition started taking its toll. Mekonen was constantly whining, grabbing at my legs, wanting my full blown attention, testing the boundaries way more than usual, and lots of other little things you notice as a parent that just aren't "right." He was also sleeping extra long and not eating very much (which is a HUGE deal for Mekonen who will eat ANYTHING at ANYTIME). The anxiety I knew was plaguing my son's heart was difficult for me, and I in turn, was having a very difficult time with wanting so badly to make it all go away, for him to never feel like this again- for him to know, we are never leaving him.

All that to say, as soon as we got to our new house, and his room was set-up with his stuff, he was fine! You see, for a child like Mekonen, home is his "safe-place." Where his stuff is, his mom and dad are, etc. To him, it is how he knows we are coming back. Yes, we travel a lot and Mekonen sleeps in a lot of different places. That is all fine and good with him because he knows that at the end of it comes HOME. So when that was disrupted, it was a little chaotic for him. But literally, once we stayed at our new place overnight, and his stuff was back in his room, he has been completely fine! Such a champ! He is back to his normal, confident, outgoing self. Ahh, such peace for that little babe's heart and his mama's!

2 comments:

Flinn said...

yay yay yay yay yay yay yay!

and praying for meko. give him a hug and smooch from aunt meg. i will be out next summer FOR SURE :)

Julie said...

Such a champ is right! Your big boy knows that he is loved and safe and that "home" is the people, not necessarily the place. Can't wait to see pics of the new pad. Does Jon carry a stinky Frazier-esque lounge chair with him?

So...this is why you guys need to move here--cause goodness knows my dearest Sosi couldn't handle a move to Indy right now...ha ha ha. I'll keep working on it.

miss you guys!