Need Some Mom Advice

Baby O arrives somewhere in and around March 28th. Wow that's only 5 months away. Crazy. Anyway, there are two possible major transitions besides a new baby for Mekonen and I'm looking for some mom input! 
  • Potty training
  • From crib to bed
                                      Potty Training
 Mekonen has been showing some signs of what I'm told is being ready to potty train (but I have no clue). When he poops he will sometimes come to me with a diaper and say "poop!" Then last week he ran into my parents bathroom twice, backed his little bum up to the toilet and said, "poop!" Sure enough when I got to him, he had poop in his diaper. 
  • I know boys are usually trained later than girls. Mekonen will be two December 28th. Is it worth a shot because he would still require a lot of "help" like pants on and off and getting on and off the toilet, and not to be gross but wiping him. It's almost more work than changing a diaper, although less expensive of course. 
  • I hear some kids being potty trained for months before a new baby arrives only to "relapse" when new baby comes. Do I want to deal with that while caring for a newborn? 
  • Some people say potty training and then switching to a bed, can cause them to relapse, and they start peeing the bed, when before they didn't.
                                        Crib to Bed 
 Mekonen will be moving rooms for when the new baby comes. I think I prefer the newborn to be in the room closest to us, which means Mekonen moving rooms. The new baby will pretty much have all his nursery furniture, and if it's a boy, the same bedding and such. I don't want him to deal with adjusting to a new baby and not ALL the attention on him and then him feeling like he got "kicked out" of his room and the new baby has all his stuff, etc. So I think I need to do this very far ahead of time.

  • If all that baby transitioning might be too much, should I keep Mekonen in his current room, transition him to a bed in there, and move the nursery? That would technically be annoying and a lot of work to move around the two rooms, but doable. 
  • When do you think would be a good time to move him? (Mekonen turns 2 yrs. old December 28th and baby comes at the end of March).
  • How did you go about the process of switching? (We won't do a toddler bed, just a twin bed we already have with the kid rails on the side). 
  • This decision is big for us---Did you train your toddlers to stay in their bed in the a.m. until you come get them? Or do they just get up out of bed when they wake up? i'm trying to figure out what we want to do so I can do it from the start so as not to confuse him. I don't know that i like the idea of him possibly wondering around and getting into things in the morning if i don't hear him get up. We are not into baby proofing our house so there is no way I'm baby proofing every single thing he could ruin in our entire upstairs.
    So, that's it! The two big toddler hurdles I feel maybe we should accomplish before the end of March? Or is that too ambitious? Would love to hear your thoughts!


Katie & Tim said...

Hm...those are some big questions. I would say that potty training should wait. You may be successful a few times, but most likely he will not fully get it before March. Wait, let me rephrase that. He may be fully trained at home, which could help...but will also require you to be able to jump up quickly when he says he has to go. Being trained in public took longer. Cale was 3 when Megersa came home and fully potty trained (we started working on it when he was about 26 months)...but did have a few accidents after the initial "upset" on his part. Unless he can tell you that he has to go BEFORE he goes, it doesn't quite seem like he's ready. Cale was able to tell us after he went too. :) Part of it I'd say is a word association, but definitely an interest.
As far as the rooms go...with regards to your other post with him being upset when you guys moved downtown, I'd say keep his room or change it right now. Cale was 2 1/2 when we took him out of his crib and that was only because Megersa was coming and we didn't want him to have a prior claim to "his crib." He slept GREAT in his crib because I'm sure he was bored and went to sleep. Naps were much harder after that though, so be warned. We dont babyproof much either...but we do keep a gate at Cale's door so he can't roam around unsupervised. He still has it and even though I'm sure he has the capability to climb over it, but knows to stay in his room in the morning and at naps. If you're gonna have a monitor in the baby's room, I dont think the room matters as much for the baby...you may like a closer walk when going to and from nursing all night though. :) If you're getting Mekonen new stuff - sheets, decorations, etc - let him help pick them out. And if you're gonna do it, do it now. We gave Cale about 4 months of transition and he seemed cool with it though he did still mention what was his first. For our twins we're moving Cale to the basement and keeping MJ in his room. All 3 will share sheets and blankets but we did already take the bumper off MJs crib. He's not attached to anything, so nothing seems to bother him yet. Good luck!!

Julie said...

Aw sheesh--we just need to talk! When can we skype? Call me...

Sharon said...

I am not an adoptive Mom, so there wasn't any attachment success to consider with my 3 kiddos when I have contemplated the changes you are now. My oldest son was 2 years 4 months when his sister was born. He was sporting his binky, diaper and crib!!! I tried to nix the bink before baby came and upon her arrival he took hers from the bassinet at the hospital and refused to give it back. I waited a few months to take him out of the crib ( I used the pack and play for the baby) and wow, he was a nightmare keeping in bed and sleeping from then on. Night after night, minute after monute we were returning him to his bed. He wasn't ready to potty train until he was over 3. We tried prior to his 3rd birthday with no success. He wasn't ready. My daughter slept in her crib until she was almost 3, she never gets out of bed! She also wasn't ready for potty training until just shy of her 3rd birthday. When I potty train, I set aside an entire week for undies and naked bottoms with lots of juice and running to the potty! NO PULL UP ( except for sleeping). If they are mostly successful they are ready, if not they aren't. When I tried too soon with each of them, it was more accidents and messes than success. They each told me when they were ready, and were literally trained in a week. #3 child is 2 now, he is not leaving his crib until he is 20 and will probably never be ready for undies, lol. Seriously if I were in the same position as you I would leave Mekonen in his room and crib and wait until summer for potty training. It's so much easier in the summer anyway! My neighbors laughed when they saw nekked bums running in the sprinkler!!!

Rebekah Zenn said...

You could play around with potty training if you wanted to- who knows, he might take to it really quickly! If not, no harm in waiting :) The "Potty Boot Camp" movement is huge right now (you can google it) but since Luke is autstic we chose to go a slower route. He is loving it and doing very well. He still wears pull-ups but tells us when he has to go for the most part, and we only started about 6 weeks ago. He can go all day with a dry diaper, but still poops in his pull-up (I suggest Huggies brand- they have easy open sides!- if you go that way).

We moved Luke to a toddler bed when he started climbing out of his crib. Do you have a bassinet or something you could put the new baby in for the first few months so M wouldn't have to transition out of his crib yet? Jackson's arrival was very traumatic for Luke, so I'm glad we waited to switch beds and potty train until afterwards.

About keeping him out of trouble in the am's: I think a lot of people suggested a baby gate, and I agree. We did that with Luke to start, and after about a week he just stopped getting out of bed until we came to get him because he knew he couldn't go anywhere. When I check on him at night I put a water bottle and a Nutrigrain bar in his room so if he wakes up too early he can have a drink and a snack.

You still have several months till Baby arrives, so plenty of time to test the waters on some things, and if they don't work you can always wait. :)

Shelly said...

Great questions and great insights from those who commented. Our court date is not until November 12th so I am not in the mommy camp officially, but with almost a decade of nannying here is my other thought: One other thing to think about is when M is potty trained he will need to go to the bathroom "NOW" when he needs to go. If he is sleeping without a diaper (I know little ones generally are in diapers a bit longer at night, but once he knows the urge it will feel strange to him to go in his diaper) he will need to be able to get to a bathroom quickly or will yell for you A LOT until you come and get him.
You are a super MOM. I am thankful that you are going ahead of me so I can learn from you!!!

Anonymous said...

i know it sounds nutty, but we used the book potty training in less than a day with both of our kids (m & a) and they were both 2.5 when they potty trained (and very verbal). It definitely worked with both. it's a wacky old book from the 70's, but we found it to work very well. our boy took a bit longer, but literally did have the concept taken care of in about 5 hours. the trick was 100% focus on potty training (read the book, it's skinny) to exclusion of all else--- their sibling was sent to a friends house for the day. my vote would be pre-baby, but post-holiday travel.