Who Will You Be in 30 Years?

I often feel inadequate in several areas of my life, and within that there is a crazy, sinful issue of perfectionism that seeks to destroy me. When it comes to caring for, and raising you, my sweet babies, I am often terrified. Terrified that I am going to do it all wrong. That I am going to somehow splinter your hearts. I am terrified that during those moments with your precious, delicate hearts, the moments when it counts the most, I am going to blow it, and somehow scar you forever. I know this is craziness because I serve a God who sent His Son Jesus to redeem sinners like me, and because of the Gospel, I can live freely and without fear in my precious relationships with you. It means living out the Gospel everyday in fellowship with you and God, my darlings. I won't be perfect. I will mess up. I will let you down. I just pray that through who I am today, you will know who you are in every day that follows... infinitely loved by your Creator God, cherished in a way You will never understand on this earth, and loved to the deepest human extent by this Mom.

Who will you be in 30 years because of who I am today my little ones? I want your hearts to overflow...

My son, will know you are strong and courageous, that you are daring and bold, and able to carry the weight of life high on your shoulders, blessing in abundance your wife and children? I want you to go forth in confidence, to see the battles that rage all around us, and I want you to know my son, that you are able! Not just capable, but mightily equipped, mightily able, to lead, to rescue, to pursue, to take risks, and to whole-heartedly accomplish. I want the words strong and courageous to be a seal over your heart, long before the world, culture, the media, or any person tries to tell you anything else. I want "mightily equipped" to be sealed up tight in the house of your heart. Will you be that confidant and godly man I know God wants for you in 30 years because of who I am today?

My darling daughter, will you know you are beautiful from the inside out? I began saying it the day you were born, that you are beautiful my sweetheart, so that your life will be colored by these words. But I don't only speak of beauty in sight, but beauty because of who God made you. I want you to always hear this, so there is no doubt in your mind. I want these words to be a seal over your heart, long before the world, culture, the media, or any boy tries to tell you anything. I want "beautiful", the right kind of "beautiful" to be sealed up tight in the house of your heart. Will you know that are qualified and able to pursue and to accomplish that which you set your mind to? Will you know that you are a treasure, that you are worthy, that you hold gifts and talents that will praise God our Father and bless your husband and children? Will you be that woman who loves and serves Jesus and finds her identity in him in 30 years because of who I am today?

May the kind of Mom I am today wildly impact the world through the hearts of you both, my children. May who I am today point you to loving Jesus, loving people, understanding grace, and living the Gospel in your every day life.

I love you, my dear ones.


Jon said...


Julie said...

Oh me oh my--I think about this everyday. Each decision I make, each reaction I have to the struggles we encounter will impact the way my amazing daughter sees herself as she grows. It's so humbling and absolutely frightening. This is where I am so thankful that the root of the gospel is grace. Holy freakin' grace. Amen.

oh, and i love your kids. and beautiful you.