A Hilarious Train Wreck

Now before you think I am cruel, calling a train wreck hilarious, I am not talking of the physical object of a real train wreck, but rather a complete social train wreck.

We are in Chicago working out Mekonen's U.S. passport situation so we can go to Zambia without any problems. After some fun in the city and a good lunch, me, Jon, Mekonen, and my cousin Jess all got on the El train to head back to her apartment. All three of us get on the train and Jon is pushing Mekonen in the stroller. Jon sits down by an African American lady and Jess and I took the only other open seats across the aisle from them. This lady smiles at Mekonen and thus, the following converstion happened...Jess and I are watching this unfold as outsiders and wishing so badly it would be socially acceptable to video tape the hilarity of my husband trying not to have anyone be embarassed.

Lady: (talking to Jon & Mekonen) Is his mother black?

Jon: (hesistating slightly) Yes, he's from Ethiopia (which later we laughed about. I was like, "Jon, I am his mother." Although I knew what he meant cause he was caught off guard knowing she asked b/c of how he looked)

Me: (leaning towards Jess and whispering) She thinks he married an Ethiopian

Jess: no she doesnt'. He just said Mekonen was FROM Ethiopia

Me: no trust me, she does. And Jon doesn't know she thinks that.

Jess: nah!

**A couple more polite, friendly conversation lines continue between Jon and this lady. Then...

Lady: Oh! He has your big eyes!

Jess: (looking at me with a hilarious expression) Oh you're right.

Me: (leaning towards Jess whispering) Look at Jon's face. He just discovered she thinks he's married to an Ethiopian woman and had Mekonen with her. He doesn't know what to do.

**At this point Jess and I begin narrating as we are watching this unfold from the aisle over. (They don' t know we are listening or commentating).

Lady: So you're married?

Jon: Yes, my wife and I have been married for almost 5 years

Me: (leaning towards Jess whispering) Jon is totally avoiding introducing me as his wife (I was literally three feet away) because it's pretty much the point of no return and is now quite awkward. He's going with the storyline.

Lady: Oh, so you had him after you were married? That's good b/c not many people do it like that now.

Lady: How long were you in Ethiopia?

Jon: for 10 days

Lady: Oh, so he just happened to be born in Ethiopia?

Jon: (hesitating, feeling awkward) um, yeah.

Lady: oh, so you conceived him here?

**Jess and I are totally losing it at this point and Jon realizes he can no longer go with the original story line.

Jon: (feeling incredibly awkward and stuck) um, well, no. He's adopted. We adopted him from Ethiopia

Jess: (says to the Lady) Yeah, this is his wife.

**Everyone realizes how completely awkward this encounter was and there was some of that awkward laughing.

Bless my dear husband's heart as he tries desperately to reconcile the situation with some small talk about adoption.

Thankfully, our stop was next.

Poor Jon, we made fun of him the whole way home. He said he realized too late that she thought he married an Ethiopian and thought it would be too embarassing for her at that point in the converstion, so he was just going with it. That is, until she busted out the conception question and Jon was like, "I just couldn't go with it." Haha.


Kaleb said...

haha, love it!! good story.

Katie & Tim said...

that is HILARIOUS!! honestly, log this one away for Mekonen for later! :)

Donovan and Julie said...

Oh, this is fantastic. I say you should have just run with the story Jon--after all--you don't owe anyone who asks you about Mekonen's conception honesty!

Calmil2 said...

Seriously laughed out loud at this one!!!

J. E. Foyer said...

That's is pretty darn hilarious.

Amy said...

Okay Rachael, this is perhaps the funniest stuff I have read on a blog in a LONG time. I laughed at every line. Thank you, we all need to hear stuff like this sometimes. :-)

Charity Hildebrand said...

Totally hysterical! Laughing out loud right now! Thanks for sharing! Haha!

doddyj said...

that was SO funny! I'm laughing so hard with Phil about that one - it's too bad we all can't remember those socially embarrassing situations and tell them like you do, because you are hilarious in your comedic writing, Rachael.

jessboulet said...

You forgot to add the part where she asks his name then asks if it's a family name and Jon says... "well it was the name he..... uhhh... had" haha oh Jonny.

art said...

i love it!! the best part is that i could see jon's reaction in my head along with you and jess giggling in the background.

Shonah said...

Laugh out loud hilarious!!