Yep! It's Our Turn!

It's THAT post! The posts I remember seeing often in the adoption blog world while waiting to bring Mekonen home. The posts that said, "he's been with us longer than he's been anywhere else." At the time, I couldn't imagine FINALLY being at that point.

Well finally! It's our turn to say! As of April 29, 2010 Mekonen has been with us longer than he has been anywhere else! I have been putting off writing this post because several times when I sat down to write it, I just couldn't find the words to describe all that my heart is feeling. I still can't put it into words. Although this milestone in our new family is an exciting one for us, one that feels "official" in some sort of way, it makes me sad as well. Mekonen's birth family, birth country, culture, and language feel like they are slipping away, being "replaced" by something completely different. Although we are keeping close connections with Ethiopian culture by way of Ethiopian friends, Ethiopian get togethers, and other adopted Ethiopian kids, nothing is the same as the way things in life are supposed to be.
Our lives this year with Mekonen have been incredible! This little boy has completely stolen my heart and is forever entwined with every part of my being. I just cannot describe it. I was thinking today about what I thought my life would be like when I was a little girl. I was obsessed with playing dolls and house and my friends and I would plan out how many kids we were going to have and what their names would be. For the longest time I was going to have 3 sets of twins: a set of boys, a set of girls, and a set of boy/girl twins. Hilarious! And they were all going to have names that start with A:  Amanda, Alyssa, Angelina, Alexander and Andrew (I can't remember the third boy name).

I also always knew I would adopt. It's as if it were a part of my soul from the beginning. My friend Kim asked me yesterday what in my life lead me to a heart for orphans and a heart for adoption. I can't remember a specific situation, or the recognition of a specific child or country that spurred my heart on towards adoption. It was just always there. I remember sometimes crying myself to sleep at night as a child because there were so many kids with no families, and on top of that, what if something happened to my parents, I would become an orphan. I couldn't bear the thought of it, of being alone. I didn't want anyone to experience that. I used to have trouble falling asleep after watching Cinderella as a kid. I couldn't get it out of mind that she was an orphan. That she was alone. That she was scared, without anyone to call her own, that she was taken advantage of. I knew that someday, in some way, I would help. I would be a part of the solution, even if it only made a "small" dent in this huge world.
My Mom, Grandma and I were talking tonight about all the letters I would write to my parents as a kid. I would be telling them that we have a family, and lots of kids don't and they should adopt one so they can have a family. I think my Dad might've saved them and I really want to re-read them. I'm sure they would be funny in my little kid language and handwriting.

Adoption for us is not about "saving children," but about building our family and practicing what we know to be true more than anything else... Jesus. Being His hands and His feet in a world where we are called to reconciliation. After sin entered the world, it will never be the same until Jesus returns again to make a new heaven and earth. Until then, we are called to be ministers of reconciliation, working to restore things as close as possible to the way they are supposed to be, knowing full well, the completion of this is impossible until Jesus returns. I always knew my heart was to be a mother, but I never knew it would be this incredible.


Flinn said...

yes yes and yes! the final paragraph is amazing and i love that you live it out and i love you!

Tiffany said...

Oh, I am sobbing reading this. Beautiful. What a blessing. God is so amazing and so good!!

MICHAEL and AMANDA said...

WoW Rachael!!!! That is SOOOOO cool that God hid adoption in your heart at such a young age..."child like faith"! That is JUST awesome, and now for you to think back and revisit all those thoughts and desires!! So cool!! If your dad has those letters you wrote when you were a kid, I'd love to read them too :) (if you don't mind).

Jon said...

I love you! You are the best 'wife of my youth' and mother of our children that could ever be for me!

This post just scratches the surface of why I love you!

Donovan and Julie said...

Yeah--what a fantastic milestone/anniversary! I have been thinking about how ours, too, is approaching! Love you, lady--you're such a solidly-good mamma!

Tammy said...

You don't know me, but I found your blog b/c we are adopting from Ethiopia and wanted to read others' stories! I am crying now... so beautiful. And perfect way of saying what it is ALL about... JESUS! Well said, and thank you.

Kim on adoption said...

what a beautiful story... adopting is not that easy but for such a young age you have it in you to share your love. This is really an inspiring story.