Wow. March 1st! So far, March is our baby month (unless I go past my due date). We got our referral of Mekonen on March 26th and Baby #2 is due March 28th! What a special month for us. :)
I have had a lot of thoughts running around in my head for months pertaining to my children and being a Mom. Things I'm not sure I can do justice with my words, but I will try. When we began the adoption process, I heard many people's opinions and thoughts on loving adopted children and biological children. Some argued it's impossible to love a child who has been adopted as much as a biological child because of the lack of biology and not carrying the child in your belly. Many others said the love between the two is not less, but different. I do not mean to downgrade the real attachment struggles that some families encounter with their children, both adopted and biological (I know of families with attachment issues in both realms). So please hear my heart. It's just difficult when people automatically assume that it is and will be the case, simply due to something called DNA, biology, and pregnancy. I know attachment in both realms can be delicate and intricate, but I knew, well before Mekonen came home, that my love for this son of mine would not be less or different than the love I would have for a biological child. I held my son in my arms, he became a part of us, and I was certain.
The day I first held my son.
Previous to being pregnant with this baby, many might have argued that I haven't had a biological child yet so it was impossible for me to make such claims. But I did because they were true. And now, carrying our second child, for 9 months now, I can still make such claims because they are still 100% true.
The love is not less or different. The only feeling I have is that of a mother's love. 9 months later, after the exciting news that we were expecting our second child, I am now, more than ever, convinced that blood has absolutely nothing to do with love and creating a family. I am incredibly grateful for adoption, for Ethiopia, for my son's birth parents, because without all of those things, I would not have my son. A son who could not by any biological means be any more mine than he is right now.
There may still be hesitation on some people's minds to think, "Well, just wait until you birth and care for that child you are carrying. Then you will see it's different or less once they are here, in your arms." I can argue that to the ground as well. Ask any mom who has experienced a miscarriage or a stillborn child and see whether their love for that child was less because they hadn't been born and physically cared for yet. It's not less. I can without a shadow of a doubt say that my love for my two children is not different or less. It is a fierce, unconditional love I'm not sure I can put words to. I am so excited and in love with my two year old and this new baby - no matter how each child has joined our family.
So in talking about this new baby! Another week down!
4 more to go!
4 more to go!
(Sorry for the fuzzy shadow around me. I tried fixing it and it didn't work. Haha. I'm calling it... my husband will comment on my savvy photography skills).
- The only noticeable change from last week is that the past two days I have had non-stop tightening and a super hard belly. I'm not talking about starting and stopping tightness, but constant, all the time, can't get it to relax tightness. It's not necessarily painful, just super uncomfortable and I just feel exhausted. Well, not me, but my stomach feels exhausted. Like it has run its own marathon without my consent. Haha. Then last night the unending tightness made me start throwing up. Lovely.
- I lost two pounds since last week, so I'm now back to so far gaining 21 lbs. total.
- Baby's heart rate was between 137-140 today, almost ten lower than last time!
- Cervix hasn't really changed, barely 1 cm! (haha, probably TMI, but wanting to record details for us).
So here's to March!!! The baby month!!!