DO Treat Prospective Adoptive Parents the Same as Expected Parents

Adopting a child is as exciting for soon-t0-be parents as being pregnant. Yet because adoption is not as common as a pregnancy and many people have unexpressed (or expressed!) biases about adoption due to their unfamiliarity with it, family, friends, and co-workers may feel reluctant to talk about an impending adoption. Biased comments, and even more so, silence, is very painful for the adoptive parents. It would be as if you were pregnant, and no one cared to share your joy. Adoptive parents feel the same way expectant parents do- overjoyed, overwhelmed, nervous, impatient, and, most of all, excited. Adoptive parents long for others to discuss the adoption with the same sense of excitement and levity that one brings to a discussion about pregnancy and childbirth.
For us, adoption is not a "second best" option. This baby will be every bit a part of our family as a biological child. The bottom line is that a child is being brought into a family- our family- a small miracle no matter how it occurs.


jodes said...

Excellent post! My husband and I will be adopting and we've only recently started telling people. We are beyond excited about this and want to tell everyone (but we're holding off a bit b/c it'll be at least a year before we can begin). But we told his mother over the weekend and were met by silence. We know she'll be fine with it in time, but it still kinda hurt, ya know?

Thanks for posting this. :o)

hope you don't mind long comments from a blog stalker. LOL!

izzyopas said...

i totally agree. and i have experienced both joys. they are completely separate joys, but with the same exciting results! i have been met with a lot of silence too as if it is a bad thing, or people feel sorry for us, which sucks! but...keep your hopes up girl! God is so excited!

Daniel and Danielle said...

Very well said!:) Adoption is a wonderful thing and if only everyone could see and accept that!

Fellow AAI-er in waiting:)

Tracy said...

about the video-- I found it on youtube and I had to convert into a MP4. I googled how to do it. Honestly, I couldn't even remember how I did it today when I tried another one.