Now I'm Feeling that Word... WAITING
I think this week I've hit the first bout of the emotional roller coaster many people talk about when going through an adoption. We aren't even in the referral stage yet! I had a day or so this past week where I just wanted to be with our baby so bad, where I wanted to hold him and let him know he's loved and will be taken care of. It's heart wrenching to know that he will spend the first several months of his life without us.. The slightest bump in the road almost reduced me to tears. We're waiting on one more document to send in our dossier and when I heard it was going to be a few more days to get it in our hands, I almost burst into tears on the phone with the lady giving me this news. I'm also so distracted this week. I have huge assignments due for grad. school and I can't bring myself to do them. My mind is constantly on this baby. Like I've stated before, people going through pregnancy talk and dream over their bellies, and my life right now revolves around a white binder sitting on our living room bookshelf. I take it out about every day and look through it, making sure all the documents are in order. I find myself checking it again the next day, even though I had just checked it less than 24 hours ago. I have to try to "reward" myself when doing schoolwork by saying things like, "after I finish 3 assignments, I can read people's blogs, or read about adoption, or google adoption sites." Haha. It's pretty bad when I have to bribe myself! Well, I'm off to try and be productive today! Wish me well! This baby already has my heart!